Back to Earth

I had one of those weekend where I was pulled back into reality and reality wasn't all that pretty. Basically, two really meaningful women in my life set me down and told me that "I am fat" and I needed to lose it quick! I'm thankful for their constructive criticism because I have been telling myself this for a very long time and even my husband has shed light on this matter. I have accepted the fact that I am bigger than ever, but it never occurred to me that I needed some changing until I took some group pictures with my girls this weekend. I was officially the fat friend. I don't want to be the fat friend. I want to fit in. I want to look good with them. I refuse to believe that I have "let myself go", but the truth is I did even when I try not to. For instance, I try looking good by dressing well, but it can't be helped when nothing looks good on my body. It's a sad story, I know. Don't pity me. Instead, help encourage me with kind and truthful words. I got myself here, but I will need everyone's help to get myself out starting right now.

My sister has been a big help with my weight issues. We made a bet. You see the picture to the left on the previous post? I was around 120 lbs and looking pretty decent. My sister said that if I can get back down to looking like that again before her 18th birthday comes around (October 21st), she'll omit the bet we had about her being single until 18 and on top of that she'll add onto me $100 from her first job that she'll get in the future. Sounds good, doesn't it? I have nothing to lose but the weight itself.

Today will be the mark of a life-changing experience for my family and me. In the words of Iszie Stevens from Grey's Anatomy, "[I] must be a do-er". If anything is going to change, I must do things differently. It has to start with me. Perhaps, I will one day be an inspiration to my husband and that he, too, will be a do-er. I must leave cloud 9 and come back down to earth. My reality will be beautiful again and I will no longer be the fat friend. I will look good. I will feel good. I will be the change I wish to see in my family starting today.

Here's a picture of my girls and I this past weekend. In five months, I will take another picture like this and I promise you, I will not look this big ever again!

P.S. For what it's worth, "bitterness" will never be my inspiration. I am far more valuable than to compare myself to the past. This is about the future--- my future [note to self].